Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Demonic possession


When they’re not coming after women, they’re going after gays. Everyone’s favorite Mr. Rogerian-esq crackpot Pat Robertson – not to be outdone by the raving lunacy Rush Limbaugh has perfected - claimed this week that homosexuality is a type of “demonic possession.”

I’m thinking little Patty Robertson must have stumbled into his mom and dad’s room at the wrong time once too often, because he has some seriously unhealthy conceptions about sex. I mean, if gay male sex is the most demonic, awful thing he can conceive of, maybe it’s time to start filtering all the animal/midget/weird-stuff-that-Im-even-too-naïve-to-know-about porn from Rush’s mailbox to his.

You want demonic possession, Patty? I’m sure we can find you some kinky shit.*

*Literally.

It never fails to boggle the mind that a country that has dealt with witch hunts and slavery and segregation and internment camps still can’t quite seem to learn from its mistakes. No, but, THIS time, they really deserve to be treated like second-class citizens…

Why can’t the Republican party exist on economic issues anymore? Have they just gotten really bad at math? If the total value of derivatives worldwide is estimated at well over a quadrillion dollars, and that bubble collapses… ah fuck it, blame the gays.

I feel like they must be using these tactics as a form of misdirection (“Transvaginally rape the women! Steal all the pills!” and “Our sons will become tutu-wearing sissies! Stop the gays!”) But for what? What don’t they want us to see?

We’re on to you, Republicans. We don’t know exactly what your shenanigans are yet, but we know they probably involve private yachts, sweater vests and choir boys. You sick bastards. 

2 comments:

  1. I'm just waiting for yet another hate-spouting, anti-gay politician to be caught in a homosexual sex scandal. Of course, they will vehemently deny that they were *literally* caught with their pants down, but I need the laugh, dammit.

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. Personally, I'm hoping for Santorum. It would be sweet, frothy justice...

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